Samuel Johnson sure got it right when he observed, “A man is never happy in the present unless he is drunk”. Happiness and the here and now rarely go hand-in-hand. Unless you’re pissed.
But, on occasions, it just isn’t practical or proper to get sozzled – you’ve got to operate heavy machinery or are on the verge of liver failure, say – so what’s the alternative? Impulse-buying a puppy? Heroin? Both worthy but rather drastic contenders. I, however, find nothing beats baking a cake for an instant happiness-fix.
Yep, baking cakes – particularly fairy cakes – makes me happy. Like, can’t-wipe-the-smile-off-my-face-while-I’m-doing-it happy. I guess it’s a girl thing. Having been taught to bake by my mum and granny, it brings fond memories of childhood flooding back... Of birthday parties, jelly and ice cream, and all those trestle tables heaving with sausages-on-sticks and bowls of Hula Hoops. My pink fairy princess party dress that I loved so much I forced my younger brother to wear it when I outgrew it. My grandma making a chocolate cake from the Cadbury’s cookbook and letting me lick the spoon – the yummiest, naughtiest treat there was back then. When no one worried about salmonella. And before she ruined it by covering it with cooking chocolate. (Why, granny? Why?!)
When I first started this blog I figured, if nothing it else, it will be the best excuse to make my favourite recipes and be a fat, greedy bitch. But in my mission to bag a boyfriend, I’ve decided to multi-task and whip up a batch of these amazing iced almond fairy cakes in a bid to impress a male colleague. I haven’t yet decided which male co-worker, I hasten to add – just resolved to find a work crush. It’s been ages since I’ve had one and I just find those fleeting moments of flirtation over the water-cooler we totally don’t have in my crappy office building make the urge to bash my forehead against my keyboard in abject disappointment and despair, again and again, so much less frequent. And it also motivates me to don earrings and high-heels, which I’m otherwise too lazy to wear.
There are no obvious contenders for the enviable position of My Boyfriend at present. All the best ones are taken, of course. But there are a couple of guys worth considering for a temporary role... Though I recently discovered that the favourite was only 23! What is it with me and younger men?! I wouldn’t mind, but being so horribly insecure and self-obsessed, I can’t help but think hooking up with boys of increasingly younger years reflects just how emotionally retarded I am. I recently ‘fessed up to my youngest yet. “Oh, God, Amy – is he even in sixthform?!” was the response. (He was 22. Well, nearly 22... And it was only a fling.)
I tried to convince someone I was a cougar the other day (no, not that kind – this kind). She called me a kiddie fiddler and said my love life was more Jeremy Kyle than primetime Courtney Cox show.
Moving swiftly on, let’s shake things up a bit this post by getting straight to the baking so as I can convince some unsuspecting and entirely unsuitable fella at work I would make a smashing wife.
(BTW, most of the recipes on here are old family favourites and ones I’ve made up or adapted beyond recognition. But, credit where credit’s due, I found this real gem of a recipe by food writer Sybil Kapoor in the Waitrose magazine a few years back and it’s since become part of my cooking arsenal. What I love about these cakes is that they cook really reliably – none of the random, ugly peaks you get with sponge cakes to cut off – and they stay super moist too. So do try them.)
INGREDIENTS
(Makes 12 cakes)
100g butter, softened
100g caster sugar
2 medium eggs
25g plain flour
100g ground almonds
1tsp almond essence
2 tbsp milk
185g icing sugar
3 tbsp orange juice
Go crazy with 1 or 2 drops food colouring and/or decorate with hundreds and thousands!
METHOD
1) Preheat the oven to 180 degrees. Line a cake tray with 12 paper cases.
2) Cream the butter and sugar together until pale and fluffy. Having made these cakes more times than I care to remember, I reckon using an electric whisk produces the best results. I used my food processor the first few times and without enough air in them these cakes can come out quite dense. Do sample the mixture even at this early stage to check the buttery-sugary taste is just right.
3) Crack the eggs into the bowl and whisk before adding the flour, ground almonds, almond essence and milk, and mix well. Check that it’s the right consistency – ie, it drops easily from a spoon (and into your gob). If necessary, add a dash more milk. Taste, taste, taste.
4) Lick the whisk attachments clean.
5) Divide the mixture between the 12 cases. Or 11, depending how much raw cake mixture you’ve consumed. Pop the cakes in the oven and bake for about 20 minutes. Lick the bowl and any utensils clean while you wait. When they’re ready, the cakes will be golden brown and bounce back up when lightly pressed. Or do the cocktail-stick test – the skewer should come out clean when inserted. Or just eat one. Transfer the survivors to a wire rack to cool.
6) Sift the icing sugar into a bowl and slowly stir in the orange juice until you’ve got a thickish paste. Add a drop of food colouring if you’re using it. Remember to sample a teaspoon or two – it should be so sweet it makes your teeth ache.
7) Use a different teaspoon to drop some icing onto your cake, then smooth over with a knife dipped in boiled water. Decorate as you see fit – the girlier the better, in my book. Repeat until all your cakes are iced and decorated, and leave to dry.
No comments:
Post a Comment